If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
