your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
