You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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