i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
