May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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