READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
