OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
ttyl tear gas
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
