we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
