And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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