i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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