Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize