Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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