I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
