12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
