and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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