Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
