Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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