No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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