well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
