So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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