Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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