carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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