Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
