So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize