White coat. Heels.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
