I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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