i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
