he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
