What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
