I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
