i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
