He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
