I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize