your thong is hanging out like whoa
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
