He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
