I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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