I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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