A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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