why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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