I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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