She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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