im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
