Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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