better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
