kristin has been a bad kristin
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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