in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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