K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
