I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
home. puking in laundry basket.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
