Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
