with your own penis?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
