return my video game
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
