I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
