If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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