I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
