someone threw a dead crab at me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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