Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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