So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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