i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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