if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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