too bad you live with your parents still
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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