well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
