Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
