he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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