i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
