she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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