i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
