i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
third nipple confirmed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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