feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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