Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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